The Words That Were Never Spoken
by TheAngelofFate
Summary: "I'm sorry for the words unsaid. I'm sorry I left you for dead. My word is nothing, locked in here. My sanity has disappeared." Sirius gagged when he heard that verse, he couldn't listen anymore. He stood up abruptly, so fast that he knocked the chair over, it hit the floor with a loud BANG! Song!Fic, please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Alright so I suddenly got this idea from watching something on Youtube recently. This is a Harry Potter one-shot in case you didn't know. And it's a Song Fic The song is the video that I watched, I'm going to say this now, I did not by any means, write this song. All credit to the song goes to the writer who wrote it.

The story is set in the Fifth Year, but it's before Sirius offers Dumbledore Grimmauld Place as Headquarters of the Order, so let's just pretend that they have the meetings at Remus' place, shall we?

Please review, tell me your thoughts, and I'll see you guys soon!

* * *

"Hello Remus, dear"

"Good evening, Molly." Remus smiled returning the hug that Mr. Weasley would always greet him with. "How are you?" She asked looking at his face with kindness only she would show.

Before the former Professor could answer he was cut off by another voice. "You don't need to worry about him, Molly." Sirius said coming up behind Moony and standing next to him, patting him on the shoulder, like he use to do when they were children. "After all, I'm here."

Molly blinked slowly, her expression unknown. "Yes, that solves everything, doesn't it?" Sirius narrowed his eyes, and opened his mouth to retort.

"-Are the others coming, Molly?" Remus asked interrupting the stare down before it escalated.

Mrs. Weasley looked back at Remus. "They should be here in a minute or two."

One by one the rest of the Order arrived. Mad-Eye was the final one to arrive, greeting Sirius and Remus with a grunted growl. The meeting started off as it always did: With Harry. Who's turn was it to keep an eye on him, making sure he was doing alright. Sirius always offered, always wanted to do something if it involved Harry. But Molly and the rest always denied him. Then the topic switched slightly to Voldemort, if there was any news on where he could possibly be, how many Death Eaters has he recruited so far.

When it was over they all choose this time to relax, as they do at every end of all their meetings, in Remus' small living room. Having no room on the furniture, Sirius and Remus sat a table that was pushed against the wall. Sirius looked at his friend and noticed that he had his head bowed over, his index finger and thumb rubbing a crossed his eyes, looking more tired then usual. "You alright, Moony?" He said realizing that was the first time, since he has been staying at Remus' place, that he's called Remus his childhood nickname.

Remus looked at Sirius. Also noticing the nickname, he smiled tiredly. "I'm fine, Padfoot. It's just my old home is becoming more and more cramped the more Order meetings we have." He stated running a hand through his sandy blonde hair, and resting it against it.

_Ah. _Sirius thought. _Closed tight spaces. Moony never was fond of those. Though these happen only a couple of weeks, it still must be stressful him. But me being here probably isn't helping matters. _"I'm not making it worse for you, am I?"

Remus then jerked his head up. "Of course not, Sirius. I'm happy your here." Moony looked at him with a stern stare. "You can stay as long as you like."

Sirius grinned, gratefully. "Thanks Moony."

"-Remus?" Tonks asked suddenly, looking at a old _old _radio that was placed on the dusty window, intently. "Mind if I turn this on? I haven't listen to one of these in ages!" Moony smiled at Tonks, but it was a different sort of smile, one he only used for her, he nodded. "Of course. To be honest, I'd forgotten that was there."

Tonk's hair turned yellow for a second, then as quickly as it had come it went to a light pink. She turned the dial, first the was nothing but static, playing with the knobs for several moments she found a station where there wasn't any static at all.

It was a Muggle radio, Remus remembered his mother had bought it before he got bitten by Greyback. He had fond memories of his mother dancing to the Muggle songs around the house, with Remus in her arms, his father watching her with a loving smile as he sat in the chair Mad-Eye was currently at.

_After all this time, I'm amazed that thing still works. _Moony thought to himself in slight astonishment.

For five minutes it played nothing but Muggle news. Sirius yawned, tipping his chair backward as he stretched his back and arms, he closed his eyes. Feeling oddly content, considering the position they were all in.

_When did the smoke and mirrors clear?_ A woman's voice sang over the radio. Sirius listened, having been a while since he heard a woman sing.

_When did innocence disappear?  
Where are the windows on my walls?  
Why can't I catch you when you fall?_

_It's a bit sad for my liking. _Padfoot thought. Rather disappointed, but he continued to listen.

_My eyes are clear and I'm awake.   
Can't find a way to leave this place.  
Illusioned light faded to dark.  
When did everything fall apart?_

_I'd give my life a thousand times  
to give yours back to you.  
There's so much that I never said,  
so much you'll never get to do._

A lump suddenly grew in his throat, he opened his eyes and set his chair back on the ground. Looking around the room, wondering what everyone else's reaction was to this song that was playing. Which was nothing, they were currently doing what they were doing before.

Even Remus, who was probably too tired and stressed to even be listening to the song, had his eyes closed and his head resting on his hand. It was just him. He was the only one reacting this way.

_Your blood is lathered on my hands.  
That I will never understand.  
I'm sorry for the words unsaid.  
I'm sorry I left you for dead._

_My timing was a bit too late.  
Deafening silence in your wake.  
Down on my knees, I tried to scream.  
Not caring who was listening._

_James...Oh god! _Images of him finding his best friend died at Godric's Hollow. He remembers his heart almost stopping, praying that the off chance Prongs was just playing a cruel joke on him. Because he had pulled this prank before, their first year at Hogwarts.

But he wasn't. James was dead. Gone from this world. And it was his fault. What happened next was a bit of a blur to him, he remembered crying, screaming for Prongs to wake up, to stop this act and scaring him half to death. Tears he hardly shed fell down his face as he looked into James' dull hazel eyes.

This wasn't the way it was suppose to happen. It just was not the way his friend was suppose to go. He and Lily both were to go at the old age of 80, Prongs going first then Lily a second after, peacefully in the bed they shared, leaving behind a ton of grandkids from Harry and the girl he was going to marry, after they raised him with love and care till he left their home at age 20.

Sirius' stomach started turning, becoming nauseated as the seconds ticked by. _What is wrong with me!? Just stop listening to the song, Padfoot! _He told himself ferociously. But he didn't. He couldn't. And he had no idea why.

_I'd give my life a thousand times  
to give yours back to you.  
There's so much that I never said,  
so much you'll never get to do._

_Your blood is lathered on my hands.  
That I will never understand.  
I'm sorry for the words unsaid.  
I'm sorry I left you for dead._

_Stop...Enough! No more! _He ran a hand a crossed his mouth. Feeling bile raise to his already tight throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, and took in a hitched breathe. He didn't move, he was glued to his chair, his grip on it was vice-like.

_I tried to take your stolen life.  
And now I'm locked away.  
Don't know if it was wrong or right  
But it means nothing today._

_I'm sorry for the words unsaid.  
I'm sorry I left you for dead.  
My word is nothing, locked in here.  
My sanity has disappeared._

Sirius gagged when he heard that verse, he couldn't listen anymore. He stood up abruptly, so fast that he knocked the chair over, it hit the floor with a loud _BANG! _He immediately felt all eyes in the room on him. But he wasn't looking at them, he wasn't even looking at anything. All the images that filled his eyes were of his best friends dead body, his lifeless eyes.

He half ran, half walked out of the living room. Sirius had no idea where he was going, he just kept moving. Wanting to be as far away from that damn radio as possible. He registered in his mind that he was going upstairs, that he opened a door to a room, but then nothing after that, the images of Prongs, the house completely destroyed, Harry crying and Hagrid saying he had to take him to Lily's horrible older sister Petunia and Vernon house.

Even after all this time, he still felt guilty. If he had just accepted being Secret Keeper, instead of giving the position to Peter.

_James and Lily would probably be alive today if it wasn't for me. _Because of him, Remus had to go 12 years of dealing with his agonizing transformations into a werewolf on his own, because of him, Harry had to go twelve years without the love and support a mother and father are suppose to show towards their child.

He never got know his Uncle Remus, the man who braved the thousand of Muggles during Christmas shopping, standing in line for two hours to get him a stuffed wolf toy, that baby Harry happily named 'Mus!'. His godson never got to know Sirius like he should have, the man that took him flying on his motorcycle, James grinning in the background, giving Sirius a thumbs up, as Lily hit him, scowling at him for being so reckless when he got back. But he honestly didn't care because he had _way _to much fun with the small baby bundle.

_Because of me, I lost the best friend and sister I ever had. _Sirius ran his fingers through his black medium long hair, feeling the need to rip clomps of it out, he was just _so _frustrated and angry with himself. _Prongs...James, I'm so sorry. Merlin's beard, this is my fault. I know that, I've accepted that. So why in the hell can't I move on from it!?_

Tears formed in his eyes and made their way down his face. He leaned backward, hitting the wall, sliding down it and onto the cold wooden floor. He put his head in his hands and shut his eyes tight. _Damn it... God damn it!_

"Padfoot?" A familiar voice asked. Sirius' heart almost stopped, thinking that it was James. Looking up, it was clear as day the disappointment on his face when he saw that it wasn't Prongs kneeling down, looking at him with concern on his face. No it wasn't James. But Moony.

Remus put a gentle hand on Sirius' shoulder. "What's wrong?"

The guilt he was feeling double when he saw the deeply frightened look on Moony's face, Reprimanding himself angrily that he shouldn't under _any _circumstance be disappointed that it was Remus. Because Remus was all he had left. Remus was the _last _best friend he had left.

"The...song." He stated simply. looking at his shaking hands. "Merlin... That god damn _song_! It reminded me of all that I've done wrong, Moony! To James and Lily. I-I can't even apologize for being such an idiot! Because their gone. They've been gone for 12 years and yet it still feels like yesterday! It still _hurts_!"

"Sirius.." Remus said his voice barely above a whisper. He knew what that feeling was like. He knew it all too well. Remus watched his only friend lose control of his emotions, the ones he tried so hard to keep hidden. It was a huge reminder for Remus on just much things had, in fact, changed since they were children.

"Remus...I'm sorry! Because of me, You and Harry were alone. For _twelve years_, you and Harry were-" Sirius broke off as his body began to shake. Wanting so desperately to hit something. But he couldn't, he just didn't have the strength to get up at the moment.

_Oh Padfoot, my dear best friend. My best alive friend. _Moony thought sadly. His heart felt heavy and his own blue eyes blurred as he hugged Sirius. He hugged his friend close and tight, knowing he needed the comfort, because he felt so guilty, Sirius needed to know that he was forgiven, he was forgiven the minute Remus realized that Padfoot had switched being the Secret Keeper with Wormtail.

"Don't apologize, Sirius. Just _don't_. You don't have too, Harry and I know what happened, and we know it's _not your _fault. It might have been your idea, but in the end it was all Peter, he didn't _have _to betray Lily and James, he _choose too_. He gave into his fear of death, and choose to sell out his friends, knowing what would happen. This is Peter's fault, Sirius. Not yours. _Please _stop blaming yourself, my old friend. It's going to end up killing you! I don't wish to lose another friend." Remus spoke in a voice that was a mixture of comfort and sadness, he tighten his hold on Padfoot. Realizing just how much he needed this too.

Tremors took over Sirius' body. He returned the hug fiercely, desperately. Scared to death, that if he let go, Remus would disappear just like Prongs did. "Remus..." He cried out, though it was muffled against the werewolf's clothing.

"It's okay, Padfoot. It's okay." Remus croaked out, his throat was becoming to tight to speak.

_I'd give my life a thousand times  
to give yours back to you.  
There's so much that I never said,  
so much you'll never get to do._

"Please don't die too, Moony! If you or Harry leave, I surely go mad this time. If you have to be buried six feet under, if Harry has to be... Like James and Lily were. I don't think my heart would be able to take it!" Sirius pleaded, gripping the back of Remus' shirt. knowing fully well that Remus couldn't promise he wouldn't die. Seeing as they were all heading for an all out war against Voldemort. There were bound to be some innocent casualties.

But Remus did anyway, for his friend, for his brother. Knowing that it would ease Padfoot's mind, at least for now. "I promise, Sirius. I promise. As long as you promise the same thing."

"I promise." Sirius said immediately. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave Harry or you, Moony."

And they stayed like that, just kneeling on the floor holding each other, and when the others came upstairs later, they smiled at the sight of the two friends laying with their backs against the wall. One of them, which was Sirius had his head resting against the small nightstand and the other, which was Remus had his head tilted to where it was on the corner of the wall, Mr. Weasley quietly closed the door.

_Your blood is lathered on my hands.  
That I will never understand.  
I'm sorry for the words unsaid.  
I'm sorry I left you for dead._

And then they all left...

* * *

AN: Ohhhh my feels! Damn it, why do I do this to myself! ='(

Anyway I'm super happy how this turned out! What did you guys think?

The song (to those of you who have never heard of it, like me) was called "Words Unsaid" by Gio Navas, and the reason I used it fot this one-shot was because she wrote it specifically for Sirius, this is his song. For me, listening to it, it was absolutely lovely. This is her song, credit for it goes to her.

Please leave me a review, tell me your thoughts and I'll see you all in the next one.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Alright, so this story IS still a one-shot. But i just had these thoughts in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone, and the only reason this one is going to be on the same story is cause I was too lazy to make it into another separate HP one-shot, so these are still one-shots, there just so happened to be mushed together.

So please, read and review, it really helps me out a lot.

And I'll see you guys soon.

Oh! Quick explanation: This particular drabble one-shot is set after POA.

* * *

"_Sirius_! I said no!" Remus announced frustrated. Looking at his friend's dog form, who was giving him the puppy eyes, as he wagged his furry black tail. The dog cocked his head and whined. Moony groaned. "For Merlin's _sake_, Padfoot! I don't need this right now! The full moon's coming in less then six hours, and you _can not _come with me."

The dog rolled his black eyes and changed back into a man. "Why not, Moony. This transformation will be much more painful this time around, considering all the stuff that's happened recently with Harry, with me-"

"Exactly! That's exactly why I don't want you down in my dad's cell he made me, Sirius. The last time Moony and Padfoot saw each other they fought. Clawed, bit, and scratched one another, one doing so to protect three children, and the other did so because he was a mindless beast at the time."

"Remus-"

Remus narrowed his eyes and gave the other man a firm but gentle glare. "No. I could have killed you, Sirius. I could have bitten Harry, Ron, or Hermione. And you _know _that has always been my worst fear: Killing someone, bitting them. Because of what I am, because I can't control the wolf inside." He put a hand on Padfoot's shoulder and smiled gratefully.

"I know why you want to be there, Sirius. But I just can't risk Moony going berserk on Padfoot. I can't risk him killing you, my dear friend. Now when I just got you back." The former Professor said, his eyes pleading.

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his long black hair and nodded. "Alright, Moony. We'll do it your way for now. But Padfoot and Moony _are _going to have to see each other sometime. Otherwise this'll never get better."

"Thank you."

...

...

"Are you sure you don't want me in there with you, Remus."

"For the hundredth time, Sirius. _Yes_. You don't need to be getting hurt because of what I am." Moony said more snappy and harsh then he meant too. _Damn this curse!_

Sirius held up his hands in defense. "Just making sure, Moony. No need to bit my head off." He turned around and walked toward the door that led out of the steel shake.

"Padfoot." Remus called out, not wanting him to leave when Sirius was obviously angry. The former Azkaban prisoner stopped outside the door. "Thank you for agreeing to not be inside here tonight."

Sirius didn't say anything right away. He rubbed the back of his neck with his tattooed hand. "I'll be right outside."

And with that he walked out.

...

...

_This is complete rubbish! _Sirius thought to himself, as he sat on the grass, his back leaning against the metal prison Remus' father built for him. He began to tear bits of grass from the ground as he waited, waited for the howls of pain, the whines, waiting for everything that came whenever Moony came out once a month.

Padfoot sat there for ten more minutes, when he finally heard it.

The snarls, the cries, the banging against the shake. Moony was out. And he wasn't happy. Sirius shut his eyes tight as he listened helplessly to it all. It was overwhelming and familiar at the same time. He hasn't heard those cries in over 12 years, he wasn't use to it. But then strangely he was. It reminded him of all the times he'd go through this when he and the rest of the Marauders were younger. The feeling he had then, the helplessness, the sadness, the horrible gut wrenching fear that one day Remus would die from the amount of injuries he inflicted on himself. All those feelings were rushing back to him.

He put his head in his hands, wanting to block it all out. He couldn't take much more of this, he never could then, and he can't now. _Please...Just pass out already, Moony, the pain would stop if you just passed out._

The horrible growls and banging continued. For twenty minutes. Twenty long agonizing minutes. Sirius stood up and began pacing around, running a hand over his mouth and in his hair, agitated. _This is because I'm not there. He's furious at me, but since I'm not in there, nor anyone else. He's taking it out on himself. _Padfoot reasoned with himself.

"Screw it."

This was _not _going to go on anymore. Not if he could help it. He transformed into his dog form and bracing himself, he went inside. Closing and locking the door from the inside now. Padfoot turned and saw Remus sitting on the ground, chewing at his left arm.

_Oh Moony. _He thought sadly. as he slowly walked over to the werewolf, who immediately heard him, jerking his head to the left. Eyes, yellow angry eyes landed on the black dogs, and he growled, barring his teeth. But Sirius did nothing as he watched Moony rush toward him. He didn't fight back when he felt the werewolf dig his sharp claws into him, he didn't try to run away when he felt Moony began to tear and bit the the black fur of his dog form.

No, He didn't do any of that. As much as he wanted to. Because _Merlin's beard _this hurt. Oh _god_ did this hurt. But Sirius just stayed perfectly still as Moony took out all the rage out on him.

His vision started to blacken, a far sign Sirius was loosing consciousness. He smiled a little, not because he was truly crazy. But for the fact, that finally, _finally_, someone he knew was making him pay for what he had done. The Ministry made him pay mentally, his mind will never be as it once was. But Sirius wanted someone he knew, someone he cared for, someone that was hurt even more by the deaths of Lily and James, to punish him physically. Mental punishment could only do so much. He deserved this. Sirius knew that, and he was completely fine with it.

_Thanks Moony._

Then he blacked out.

...

...

Pain, seething pain was the first thing Remus felt as he awoken. _This really was a bad one. _He groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. Everything hurt, _everything _was sore, his head felt like it was splitting into, his bones felt broken, his scared face felt like it was on fire. As did the rest of his limbs, and as he moved inch by inch, he could feel liquid drip off of him. It was sticky and thick. The sensation felt familiar and Remus knew instantly that it was blood.

But something felt...off. Yes, it was his blood, he could smell it. Years and years of turning into a werewolf gave Remus the ability to know what his blood smelled like. So that's what was confusing Remus. He could smell _his _blood on him and around him, but only small amounts. The rest however was not his.

"..._rraghh..._"

Remus jerked his head upward. He knew that sound, he knew it all too well and hearing only a few feet away, almost made his heart stop. Slowly, so very slowly, he turned his head toward the noise. His eyes widened when he saw what lay before him. It was a black dog, sprawled out on the floor, laying in a small pool of it's own blood. It was-

"Sirius!" The werewolf cried out. Shooting up like a top, but immediately falling back down into the torn up mattress. Remus hissed in pain, grabbing his stomach and head as black spots filled his vision for a second or two. Using the one arm that didn't feel like jelly, he made his way over to his friend.

Sirius was laying on his right side, his black fur was clumped together and looked even darker from all the blood that covered his body. "Padfoot." He whispered.

All he got back was a agonizing whine. Remus bit his lower lip and placed his hands on the dog's furs. _God...My god... Just- Merlin's beard, what have I done!?_ "Sirius-Why!? You-You promised...You _promised _you wouldn't come in here. I told you it wasn't safe for you!" Remus said loudly, gripping the bloody clomps of fur, his eyes blurred as tears of guilt formed in his eyes.

"_Rrragh!_" Padfoot yelped curling into himself as if he forgot he was still a dog. Moony jerked his hands away. "Sorry! I'm sorry, Sirius..." The former Professor apologized franticly, gently stroking the dog's head. He swallowed the lump that was growing tighter in his throat. _What am I going to do? I don't have enough medicine for the both of us, I don't even have enough for one of us. _

Remus looked around, desperately. Trying to think of something that will help his friend live. Because he won't under any circumstance lose Sirius again, _not _again. He let out a breathe as he a thought came into his mind.

_Dumbledore. _

Moony stood up, forcing himself to ignore the throbbing pain that went from his head, and all the way down to his feet. Making his way over to the door, he unlocked it and limped his way back inside his parents house. He fell on his hands and knees as he activated the Floo Network. Bright emerald flames appeared and he immediately stuck his head in.

"Professor!" He called out, making sure to not inhale a mouth full of ash. "Professor Dumbledore! Please I need to speak with you. It's urgent!"

"Remus, what is wrong?" Came the surprised but kind voice of Albus Dumbledore. His small crescent moon glasses were what Remus saw first. "I need your help, Professor. I-I just woke up from one of my transformations, and...and Sirius- I _told _him he couldn't come in the shed with me, but he did anyway. And he's hurt- He's hurt _bad_. I-I don't know what to do, sir. If he dies... I..." The werewolf trailed off, not sure if he could even finish what he wanted to say.

"Remus." Dumbledore said calmly. Moony looked up. The older man offered him a smile. "It will be alright. I will arrive soon with Poppy and we will tend to you both."

The former Professor nodded and pulled his head out of the Floo Network. He limped his way back to the shed and found that Sirius was still unconscious and if it was even possible, he looked even worse than he did before. _Oh Padfoot. _

"Why didn't you listen to me? Why do you have to be so _damn _stubborn, why do you have to put others pain and safety ahead of you own? _Why_ Sirius!?" Remus pleaded, desperately. Tears fell down his cheeks, the salty water stung his face as it slid into his open cuts and scraps.

"Remus?" A voice suddenly asked. Moony turned his head and saw Dumbledore standing in the door way, Poppy right behind him, a concerned look on her face.

"Professor-"

"Quick, come along in here, Poppy." Albus stated as he walked over to the black dog. Poppy went straight over to Remus, who watched the Headmaster closely. He laid his wrinkled hand on Padfoot's head. "Sirius." He said gently. The dog slowly, but with much difficulty, squinted his eyes open. "If you can hear me, I need you to try and change back to your human form. It'll be easier for Poppy to heal your wounds if she knows where they are. Do you think you can do that for me?"

The scene that followed was... heart-wrenching. Sirius' body twisted, jerked, and convulsed as he slowly tried changing back into a man. His whines and cries filled the area they were all in. And Remus... Remus had to close his eyes, knowing he'd done this... He just couldn't stand the sight.

"Ahh! _Haa!_ Gahhh!" Sirius yelled out as he collapsed to the floor, curling into himself. More blood poured out from his now visible wounds.

"Good lord.." Poppy whispered out covering her mouth with her hand.

"Sirius..." The voice that came out of Remus' mouth was hoarse and tight. There were bit marks, cuts all over the innocent man's body. Ten long deep gashes were visible on Padfoot's torso, chest and back. To say he looked horrible, was an understatement.

"_Wingardium Leviosa_" Dumbledore whispered pointing his wand at the man on the ground, who was lifted off the ground as gently as possible, though that didn't stop Sirius from feeling the pain. "_Ahh! _MmmAH! Moony!" Sirius rasped out sounding like he was 11 again.

Upon hearing his name Remus rushed forward, or at least he tried too. Poppy held him back. "You might cause him more discomfort. Besides your injuries are just as bad as his." She was only being logical, he knew that. Poppy was after all a professional nurse, and she was probably right. But that didn't stop him from struggling to get free from her. "Sirius! It's okay. I'm here! You'll going to be alright!" He called out to the former prisoner, as he watched Dumbledore slowly make his way outside. Even as he spoke them, the words felt like empty promises.

Sirius' body continued to jerk and convulse. Tears rolled down his face. "_Remus! M-Moony!_" Padfoot cried out as he continued to cringe and whimper from the pain.

Remus throat was aching as it became tighter. "It's going to be fine, Pads. You have to-"

"_JAMES!_"

Silence. They all froze in the center of the living room. The three of them too shocked to move. Even Dumbledore, who wasn't so easily surprised, stood there looking at the man, in sadness.

"NO! James! _PRONGS! _I'm sorry! Please, _wake up_!"

Moony felt like his heart shattered into pieces, upon hearing that miserable sentence. The main reason Sirius was thrashing and convulsing, wasn't because of the pain in his wounds, or up until just a few seconds ago, it was. But now it was because his friend was having a nightmare, a memory, about the night James was killed.

"Pad-"

It happened so suddenly, no one, not even Albus had time to react. When Sirius actually _rolled _out of the spell that had him hovering only a few meters off the grounds. He landed on the wooden floor with a loud _THUD_! Which caused him to let out a horrible scream of sheer agony. Remus bolted forward and hugged him from behind. His friend needed to calm down before he hurt himself any further. Sirius struggled to break free from him, but Moony just held on tighter.

"Sirius! Padfoot, it's okay! It's me, Moony! It's just a nightmare. Please calm down!" He whispered desperately in Sirius' ear.

But Sirius wasn't listening. He just continued to cry and struggle. "James! _God!_ I'm sorry! Lily, forgive me! Prongslet- Harry!"

Remus' heart was beating a million miles a minute, tears formed in his eyes again, he was at a complete loss. What could he possible do to calm him? He ran his hand through Padfoot's long black hair gently. "Shhh. Shhh. Sirius." Remus soothed. Praying that his presents would be enough.

"Moony-Remus! I'm sorry-"

"Forgiven. Pads, don't say sorry. It's okay. Breathe. You'll hurt yourself worse then you already are."

"_Moony_!"

"I know."

"I-"

"It's fine."

Soon after several minutes passed, Sirius collapsed against Remus' chest, to tired to fight anymore. The werewolf sighed in relief. He glanced Dumbledore and Poppy, who both were looking are Sirius with sympathy in their eyes. Albus smiled, seeing that Remus got the situation under control.

"Shall we proceed?"

Remus nodded, giving his friend one last gentle squeeze, before he let him go.

...

...

_Good lord..._ Sirius groaned out as his mind woke up. _What happened last night? _He couldn't remember, all that he was registering was pain, throbbing pain all over his body, is was so fierce and sudden that it made his eyes began to hurt. Padfoot reluctantly opened them. Gazing around his room in Remus' house, he still couldn't figure out why the hell he felt like he had been skinned alive and his inside ripped out-

There was a sudden moan toward his right. Sirius turned his heads and saw Moony sitting in a chair that was propped up against the wall. Why was Remus here, more importantly why was Remus covered in bandages and his arm in a sling?-

_Oh right... It was the full moon. _He realized. Remembering Remus transforming, and it being to horrible for Sirius to hear anymore knowing that Moony was angry at him. And that he broke Remus' promise and went inside the shed anyway. _That's why I feel so rubbish. If I'm feeling this bad, I can't image what I look like._

Sirius swallowed dryly, the urge for a glass of cool water was just too tempting to resist. Inch by inch he moved his legs out from underneath the covers and onto the floor. Things were going good so far... that is until he tried to get to his feet. Pain shot through legs and up his back, it felt like someone electrocuted him. He fell back onto the bed, causing the frame to make a rather loud _SQUEAK! _noise. It also caused Remus to jerk awake at the sudden.

His eyes found Padfoot.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed happily, the relief on his face was clearly obvious. Rushing over and expecting his friend, his hand hovered over the Animagas. "What are you doing?"

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "My throat wanted some a glass of water, but my body-" He gestured to downward. "-Has other plans." Upon hearing this, the werewolf straighten up completely.

"I'll get it for you." He stated walking out the door and out of sight. A few minutes later, he came limping back into the room with a glass in his hands.

"Here." Moony said handing the water to Sirius.

He took it, gratefully. "Thanks Moony." Padfoot croaked out. Taking a sip, enjoying the cool feeling that ran down his throat and eased the burning sensation. Silence passed between them. Sirius continued to take small sips of the water, while Remus watched him carefully.

The silence was getting on his nerves. He had to say something, anything to break this quietness. Fortunately for Padfoot, Remus did it for him. "How are you feeling?" He asked studying his friend carefully.

"Better than most people would think, if they saw anyone else in this condition."

It wasn't a straight answer. But Remus nodded his head anyway. Knowing full well that Sirius doesn't give honest straight answer. "Poppy said that you should take it easy for a couple of weeks. That you should stay in bed as much as possible."

"Madam Pomfrey was here?"

"And Dumbledore."

Sirius let that sink in. Setting the now empty cup on the nightstand by on his right.

"Why didn't you wake me up? If you needed water that badly, you should've woke me up before trying to get it yourself." Moony stated his eyes held something that Sirius couldn't identify at the moment.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to bother you-"

"-Really? You didn't seem to care about bothering me in the shed!" Remus stated his voice suddenly angry.

The Animagas grimaced. "Remus-"

"No. Sirius. Just no. Alright? Just what the _hell _were you thinking? Do you have any idea what it was like for me to wake up and find you laying on the ground with wounds covered on you head to toe? Wounds I caused?"

"How do you think I feel?" Sirius said narrowing his eyes. "I had to sit outside and listen to what you were doing to yourself. Now I know that it's worse for you, Remus. But for me? Listening to it all? Watching? It's not fun for me, it never was. And I just can't get up and leave. I can't, I won't do something like that. I didn't do so when we were children and I'm not doing so now. So yes, I went inside, and yes I got hurt. But things with Moony and Padfoot? There mended, now that he got out all the anger towards me out."

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, that's not the point! I could've killed you. You could have died, because of me. And I would never forgive myself for it." The werewolf ran his good hand through his hair. "_God _Padfoot. It was like I fell into my worst nightmares. And it only grew worse as Dumbledore, Poppy and I started walking inside."

Then Sirius remembered something. at first he thought it was a dream but then he realized it wasn't. He remembered his nightmare of James finding him dead at Godric's Hollow. He faintly recalled a sheering pain in his back as he felt himself falling, then something wrapped around him from behind.

_"Shhh. Shhh. Sirius."_

_"Sirius! Padfoot, it's okay! It's me, Moony! It's just a nightmare. Please calm down!" _

Sirius recalled calling out for forgiveness, but couldn't remember who it was directed to

_"Forgiven. Pads, don't say sorry. It's okay. Breathe. You'll hurt yourself worse then you already are."_

A hand ran through his black hair.

Remus. All of that was Remus.

"Moony..." He whispered feeling incredibly guilty. Remus sat down on the bed, rubbing a hand a crossed his mouth. "Do you have _any _idea what that was like for me, Padfoot? Do you have any idea what I was going through, what I was feeling, right then?" The former Professor announced, his eyes filling with tears.

Sirius leaned forward and hugged the other man, screw his severe injuries, screw what people thought of him. That he was a mad man who only cared about himself, Remus was hurting, upset. And damn if it wasn't his job to make the small amount of people in his life still around, feel better. Then he'd proceed to climb the highest point in the world and jump off it.

Remus comforted him, now it was his turn.

"Aw Remy. I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish without even realizing it. Please don't cry, Moony. I'm here. I'm alive. Not dead. So there's nothing to feel bad over anymore."

Remus squeezed his eyes shut upon hearing those words. He wrapped his arms around Sirius and held on tight. Burying his face in the crook of Padfoot's neck and cried. "Sirius..."

Sirius leaned back, taking Remus with him as he laid back down on the bed. Remus clung onto his friend all the tighter, it was as if they were both eleven again, the difference from then and now, was that they were short two people. And Padfoot returned it without hesitation.

"Please don't ever _ever _do something that reckless again, Padfoot. If something happened to you, because of me and I was left here all alone, I don't know what I'd do." The former Professor sobbed out, fear laced within his voice, as he hugged Sirius tighter. Causing his wounds to burn and protest, but he ignored them, he just let Remus cry, he let him get out all the fear and guilt. Just as he let the wolf buried deep in his friend get out all his fury. He rubbed soothing circles on the werewolf's back.

"Same goes for you, Moony. Same goes for you."

* * *

AN: Aaaannnddd! DONE! Jeez this was a longer one-shot drabble then I originally thought it was going to be.

Meh, whatever I had fun writing it. XD

SOoooo thoughts?

Please leave a Review and I'll see you all soon.


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